Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Staying non-Reactive to get what I need

Things Keep Going Wrong!

Do you rant and rage when things go wrong? Do you shut down, separate yourself, want to sleep, fight or get superstitious? I had reason to look at this idea today, in the middle of an ice storm. In the past few weeks, 2 computers crashed, 2 snow blowers broke down, I fell on the ice, my partner’s ceiling feel in (from snow melt leakage), a new website didn’t launch, my health insurance got all messed up, aches and pains from snow shoveling… Urgh!!!
Here’s what I noticed. That when things go wrong, any kind of bump on the landscape, I tend to panic, if even a little, and go into fear to varying degrees. There’s a little voice that says “if I don’t rail against this, I’ll be telling life I like it, I want more.”  But is that true? I dug into it and felt those feelings of needing the drama.  Although I have to say, in all my years of working with computers, for example, drama never did a thing to solve the problem! And in all my years with my guy, my arguing with his negativity never did a thing to change him or help me. It’s beginning to look really dumb to keep up this reactivity.

Here’s the thought, “I need to be reactive to get what I want.” But is it true?
When I’m reactive, I close off from life, and from my intelligence—it’s a kind of blindness/deafness insulation. And it never helps the problem.
When I cross the bridge and stay open, present and engaged with life, something really interesting happens. Here’s an example from yesterday. When my Virus Software stopped working on one computer and I didn’t freak out (it had happened recently on 2 other computers), I just called up chat and got a techie on the line. He took control of my computer and had it fixed in 15 minutes. What a great guy!  Another example an insurance snafu with a prescription. I called up for the third time, but without anger, and this time got a woman on the phone who said: no, we don’t have it but let me call the dr’s office while you are on the phone and straighten it out.
Is it possible I got 2 great customer service people on the phone in the same day? I was thrilled. And moreover, I was more fascinated with this great experience than with getting the problem solved.
And this is what I noticed. When I DON’T shut down and stay engaged and don’t fight life, I get what I need but I also get in a deeper sense what I really love—great experiences with people, interesting interactions, the chance to be really appreciative!

Yikes! What if I did this everywhere, every time I hit a bump—stay aware and engaged, let go of fear and see what’s around. I am excited. Maybe for me the reverse is true:

If I stay Non-reactive-I get what I need, want and get to be satisfied and engaged.


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